Top Ten Reasons I Hate Sex and the City

10. Shoes – seriously, I wouldn’t listen to a discussion with my own friends about expensive shoes for more than a courtesy breadth.

9. The Short Haired Red Head – She’s the dowdy one therefore more business minded. How does this not piss more people off?

8. Charlotte – I know this one’s name because it fits her doughy eyed character. She’s been living in New York long enough, she should be more jaded.

7. The Old Whore- The cougar character is fine for a movie, but as a serial character it’s just an old whore. Blanche Deverogh kicks this character’s ass, hard. Ya know why? She didn’t do sex scenes.

6. The Sets – Friends was over the top with their apartment, and then the Sex and the City designers were like, ya know what? Let’s just go WAY over the top! We’re so fucking awesomely extravagant.

5. The Clothes – Ok, she’s in a fucking ballerina outfit in the beginning, and she means to wear it out. There are GIANT flowers on her outfits:

A. Those are $60!

B. If this was a fatter woman you saw on a Manhattan street, you’d think she was someone who speaks to trash cans.

4. Squint and Laughs – There are a lot of fucking phony ass laughing moments that start with a knowing or condescending squint and then chuckle.

3. The Dialogue – Female dialogue written by gay men. I said it. Yes, women discuss sex, but we don’t do the same as gay men, and I think it’s just painfully obvious.

2. Drinks – The alcohol they consume and the places they chose are beat you over the head prissy.

1. Sarah Jessica Parkwhore

important editorial note:

I know a lot of you TV Junkies love Sex and the City though, and I just want you to know, I do blame you.

Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Cheers

Cheers is one of my all time favorite sitcoms. Why you ask? Well, I'm glad you asked...

10. Sam Malone, not really that hot, yet amazing with the ladies. How does he do it? And by “it” I mean his hair.

9. Diane’s literary references: If you catch them it’s like getting a Jeopardy! question correct.

8. Carla’s Earrings: Pay attention to these if you haven’t already noticed. She wears the most bizarre things on her ears.

7. Kirtsy Alley: I find myself looking at her wondering if she’s fat, healthy, or just in awfully cut 90’s power suits. (Personal note: Pretty sure she’s the reason why I vowed at a young age that I would NEVER have to wear a suit to work.)

6. Cliffy’s accent. It’s so Boston.

5. Norm’s alcoholism. He’s the loveable drunk/ role model of slack -

4. Dr. Fraiser Crane: He’s one of the most durable characters of television. I really like the idea of the character in the ensemble of Cheers. A bar setting lends itself to the telling of personal stories. Sam’s so vapid. You kind of respect his advice, because he’s a recovering alcoholic, but he’s no expert (outside of bangin’ chicks). Dr. Fraiser Crane delivers the honest advice, but is neurotic himself which in a way is also honest. There’s a reason why he’s one of TV's Longest Running Characters.

3. Theme Song: If you have never heard the entire theme song, you’re missing out.

2. Great Writing. Sitcom’s by nature have simple story lines with clear cut plots. What makes a good sitcom is dialogue. Cheers has some of the best banter around.

1. The best straight men: Coach and Woody. Sure, they were bumbling idiots with hearts of gold, but they delivered so many hilariously naive responses. Skills like that make good television.