Friday, February 27, 2009

Top Chef Season 5: And The Winner is...


My reaction: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

He's a nice enough guy, but can't one of the winners ever be a big personality?
Hosea is all fish, AND he wimped out on dessert.

Carla, man, what a heart break. Why did she not listen to her heart?
It's funny because you would think the bad pick was Hosea giving Stefan the alligator, but really the dud of the evening was Carla having to work with Casey. Her willingness to work with others' ideas was her downfall there.

I still would rather go to Alchemy Caterer's than Hosea's fish place. But either way, at least he showed Leah.

For more on Top Chef winner Hosea, read this interview where he basically admits that it's Richard that put him over the top.

Monday, February 23, 2009

TV's Go HD June 12

Why not just get yourself cable now?

I mean, there's soooo many good shows.

Like Mad Men, which is supposedly returning summer 2009.

Ugh! I can't wait!

So, throw those bunny ears away pals, it's time to ring in '09. Hook it up!

Friday, February 20, 2009

Howie- Don't Do It

Today a co-worker of mine brought up the show Howie Do It
and asked me, "So, do you know about that show?"

"No," I replied.

"Oh, ho ho really miss-I-love-tv-more-than-you? YOU don't know about a television show?"

"No, I only watch good tv."

I blocked this show from my brain after seeing the commercial. My question is, who was really longing for Punk'd and Candid Camera and decided, ya know who I can't get enough of? Howie Mandel.

It's not enough to watch him host the most pointless game show on television.
-Deal or No Deal
is the equivalent of "How many fingers do I have behind my back?" except there's money. It's an hour long, and then a person that's not you gets money. I've literally optioned to watch paint dry instead.

Honestly, NBC, we have enough to fear on our minds right now, we don't need this...

LOST Bringin' it Back

There's a lot of speculation regarding ABC's LOST. Many have doubted if it would ever go anywhere.
I believe this season pretty much proves all nay-sayers wrong.
I was really happy with this week's episode, 316.

For the past few season's LOST has given it's loyal followers a ton of information that has often left us with dumbfounded responses and confusion. Season 5's pretty much turned that around with time hopping through windows and character ties that are starting to really bind the story.

I'd give more information, but really, you just need to watch.

...or you can try to watch LOST: Untangled. Which, honestly is awfully produced to make you feel like you're retarded rather than a Guide to helping you understand.

If you want to take a quick route, try just buying Season 4
and watching some of the recap shows online.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Everything I Do, Family Guy, I Do It For You.

Family Guy came back for an all new season this Sunday, February 15th and it was just what the doctor ordered.

There was pretty much everything you expect from a Family Guy episode: A song, a crazy scheme, funny random critiques of pop culture.

The best part, the part I think we all rewound and watched more than once was of course Stewie's song:

The Peter with Christian Bale tape ran too long, but was also good.

I think the most surprising part is that Bonnie finally had the baby. This was exciting for old timey fans like myself. It also makes the comment about the Bonnie/Louis sex tape a little more appealing, I guess?
Not sure what I'm talking about? You should watch more Spike Ferensten:

New in Comedic Variety

There were three premiers this past week of new comedy/variety shows. I watched them all for you and have graded them on the class A-F scale.

The CollegeHumor Show - B+

Brought to you by the gang from the website CollegeHumor, this is a show loosely based on working at an Internet company with random sketches inserted in. As someone who works for a website, I enjoy the premise. A lot of the jokes made me sad though, mostly because I realized I am no longer in the "college humor" demographic. I'm 5 years out of college and I find a lot of these jokes out of my scope, but that doesn't mean it's not funny. It's a clever show that's definitely watchable, but if you're not someone who normallly watches MTV, don't bother switching over to this, you most likely won't be getting gauffaws.
If your channel surfing on a Sunday, check it out. It is definitely entertaining.
If you are in that demo - party on! (Do kids even say that anymore?)

Important Things with Demetri Martin - C+

I was skeptical of this show after watching Comedy Central's 2 minute preview last week. It didn't seem high energy and seemed to lack gut busting humor. I think this may be because I'm not a huge Demetri fan.

I tried to put all this bias aside and watch the entire premier with an open heart. I have to say, I feel as though he's an undeniabley talented fellow, but not really exciting to watch. The sketches he's in lack emotion, which was illustrated well in his sketch with Amanda Peet. I found the funniest sketch was one he wasn't even in which was a Diamonds are Forever parody commercial. Even this though, has been done.

This show was billed as the next Chapelle Show, and I have to say if that's what you're going for - it's a swing and a miss. If you're going for a sketch show, my suggestion is to downplay Demetri and add some high energy bit characters.

If you're a fan of the comic, you probably also enjoy other things I don't, such as Emo music and skinny boys with hair in their eyes. If that describes you, raise the grade to B+ and check this show out.

Delocated -A

Never heard of this show? Not a surprise. I beleive Demetri Martin bought all available ad space that this show could've been plugged in.

Delocated is brought to you by the very talented Jon Glazer, and the only downside is, it's only 15 minutes long. The premise is a family that is relocated via the witness protection program and willing to do a reality TV show. The catch is they had to have their vocal cords permenantly changed to disguise their voices and wear ski masks the entire time.

It's silly, but it's also laugh out loud funny. I think the best part so far would be Eugene Mirman's character as the Russian mobster that is after the Delocated character.

I found this show via word of mouth and am happy to spread it.
If you're a fan of Adult Swim definitely give this live action show a try.
If not, set your DVR's for this show, and tell your friends to check it out, too!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Reality TV Report February 2009

There are a ton of new reality shows out there and some old ones that are interesting this year. Here's what's worth watching on the Sue Funke scale:

You HAVE to see this:

RuPaul's Drag Race -
Do I really have to explain it after that tittle? Honey! It's hilarious tranny messes and successes at their bestests. Check out FREE Episodes by clicking here.

You Should Miss this:

Real Housewives of Orange County -
Midlife rich bitches being catty. Here's your cliff's notes version:
Gretchen's fiance is wicked old, and dying. It's tough for her, and she claims not to get out of the hospital much but is never shown there except for some interviews taken in front of a sign that says HOSPITAL.

a bitch. She also has a bizarre relationship with her son who obviously wants to bang a woman just like her. Oh, but feel bad for her because her parents got divorced when she was like 18.

I'm pretty sure if you put your ear to Lynne's you could hear the ocean. She's desperate to be the cool Mom, so her daughters are spoiled annoying brats. She seems to still be in love with her husband and vice versa, which is kinda sweet.

and Vicky? A little more crazy than previous seasons. It's a little disturbing how depressed Jeana is and Vicky's power hungriness has left her with no appetite at all for her poor good natured husband.

And Lauri left because even though she's got the story book life, her son's in prison and she wants to take care of her family. Wise choice Lauri. The ship is sinking. You got out!
Now, please add the f*ckin' E to your name.

If you haven't seen it by now...
You HAVE to see this season's Top Chef.

The characters that are cooking this season are THE best.
If you see one episode only make it Season 5's Kitchen Wars.
This regularly fan favorite episode of every season, pits two teams of 3 against each other to open a restaurant within a very limited amount of time.

Click here for the recap, and do yourself a favor and check out the next airing of this dramatic and fun episode.

Fun to watch if you're a chick

Jon and Kate Plus 8. The kids are adorable and the marriage squabbles funny, because it's not me.
If you ever felt your life was disorganized, Kate will make you feel worse.
Jon's reactions to Kate's understandable madness are also hilarious.

I don't understand the appeal, Ladies...
Of The Bachelor. I watch it and fear for that poor man's life. They all seem like crazy stalkers.
My pal Andrea blogs about it though and her humorous take aways almost make it seem worth while... I'd rather read her take though.
Click here to read Andrea's blog on the most awkward episode of the Bachelor.
Yipes. Mighty Awkward!

And, show of hands, who is still watching...

American Idol? It was on at a bar I was at (it was a very slow night) and I saw the judges sitting on thron-like chairs in a house setting. It was rather creepy. It looked like there was a rape room somewhere behind a wall facade.
That was probably the most exciting thing about Idol I have seen.

Girls Next Door? It's lost it's charm. We know the axe has fallen and they're going seperate ways, who cares if they go to New Orleans and realize Katrina still hasn't been cleaned up?

Let us know what you think, and if there are Reality TV shows out there I'm missing.
I'm guessing no.

Guest Blog- Mama Spell Loves TV, Too!

While on hiatus due to moving I asked for submissions.

Here's my pal Sharon Mama Spell's take on TV:

I love television. I love the good shows and the not so good shows, and I even love the commercials. I mainly love how accessible it is for everybody, or at least it is until June 12th when the government mandates that all TV be digital. I'm not quite prepared for what comes next, as I don't currently have a cable subscription nor have I ordered the new converter box that will enable my current set to receive digital transmission.

And I must confess that as much as I love television, there have been times in my life where I lived without a tv in my home. The first time was when I was in college, you know, "the experimental years," and I had a friend who didn't have a television. I had never heard of such a thing as not owning a tv. He went so far as calling it a lightbulb -- a noisy lightbulb. That revolutionized my thinking, because I'd grown up in a house where the television was always on but light switches had to be off the second before you left an empty room.

After meeting that TVless friend in college I decided to live without it for a while. I technically did have two TVs still, but one was already broken and I took it apart and turned into an actual lamp, fashioning a stained glass screen for it. The second TV would turn on, but didn't pick up any channels, just "snow." I perched it on top of my refrigerator for an atmospheric night light in my kitchen.

I digress. I got back onto the television wagon when, for my 22nd birthday, my parents gave me a television set. After I'd expressly made a point to tell them I did not want a television set, my parents, actually my mother, decided that I did in fact need one. They showed up on my doorstep with the brand-new tv set still in the box, and I knew I was toast. I was able to pick up one, maybe 2 channels without cable, and that was that. I started getting hooked again. And in just a few short years I had developed full-blown cable. Again.

TV simultaneously isolates and connects us. You can be alone but not feel alone. I love tv as background noise while I work at home. I like having it on with the sound off during parties, or with the sound on at parties where I don't want to talk to people. I love tv!

But I got my love under wraps again after I moved to NYC, scaling back on my channel selection because my roommates and I don't have cable. And besides, I'm in NYC and I didn't come here to watch tv. But it is nice to come home to and unwind with.

And when I'm in that state of mind, I'll watch just about anything that's on. If I had cable, I'd probably never have watched Tyler Perry's House of Payne as it's pretty unwatchable. But it's on a lot and I do watch it. Oh, and my other guilty pleasure are those Sunday mornings when I can sleep in then catch the mini-marathon of DeGrassi TNG.

So here I am in the romantic phase of love again, and soon I need to decide whether to buy a TV converter box or not. I don't really like having to make a choice based on the order of a third party (unless it's community service to avoid jail time. That might not be so bad). I'd made the decision in the past to go without a tv set, nobody forced my hand. But now it looks like I'm facing an all or nothing agreement with the Feds. And after February 17th, if all non-digital tv fades to black, I'm not even sure if my current set would even work as a lightbulb. And on that note, if all non-digital cable fades to black, will future generations even know what tv "snow" is?

The big question is: if I love TV so much, why would living without a television even be a question again? Well as the saying goes, if you love something, set it free. If it's meant to be yours, it'll come back to you. No matter how many times I've tried to live without TV in my life, it keeps reentering, nestling itself into the crook of my arm saying, "I love you too, Mama Spell."

...My roommate and I just had a nice chat about getting cable.

-The above article was contribute by Mama Spell
She is not only a gifted writer, but she's also a comedian.
She hosts the FUN, FREE "Shrink" show at Otto's Shrunken Head EVERY WEDNESDAY at 8pm.
She's also a gifted artist:

Friday, February 20
I Love Paintings: An Introduction to The Art of Mama Spell
Closing Party
@ The Fall Cafe
307 Smith Street, Brooklyn, New York 11231
I’ll be showing old and new paintings at The Fall Cafe from January 16-February 25, 2009. More info TBA!
Free. 7-9 pm. (718) 403-0230

Monday, February 9, 2009

M.I.A Wins at Grammy's..

Meanest Outfit Put on a Pregnant woman, ever.